Dealing with Anxiety

Anxious. Nervous. Worried. Do these words get your attention? How much time do you spend having those kind of feelings?

When I look at my 20 years or so of experience with clients, and then I look at my own emotions and feelings – something I’ve never really taken the time to do – I’ve really started to see how eventually it does catch up with you.

What are the main things that make us anxious? Money, our jobs, our businesses, personal lives and yes, our bodies. The trick is to have a backup plan, a mindset which says, “Well, you know, if all else fails, I may end up 60 and a little heavier, but maybe I’ll have more muscle and leaner and a better quality of life.” Or alternatively, “If I have to lose my job, then I’ve got 5 other things that I could do.”

Life is a whole lot easier if you have a backup plan.

Something I’ve always been able to do is block out any negative thoughts that comes up. And I do think it’s worked for me, helping me be able to manage my life and to cope with difficult situations. For example, if I were to lose an expensive piece of jewelry, I could get really upset and go on and on about it. Or I can say, “It’s lost. May the next person who gets it wear it well.” Or I might have a personal issue, a problem in a relationship with a friend – and I can let this go on and on in my head, thinking about who’s right, who’s not right, justifying myself, etc. Or I can just look at life and say, “You know what? Life is short. Just move forward from this. Hopefully, the other person can too.”

I also find writing things down helps. For example I have a “read later” email address; if someone upsets me and I am obsessing about I, write a email to them how I feel and send it to myself. I find that this helps stop the immediate obsessing, and most of the time I don’t even end up sending the email to the person it was intended for. It just helps me get it out.

Whatever it is that is bothering you, take some time and decide: should you just block it? Is that the best way to deal with it? Or alternatively, can you make another plan so that you know, no matter what happens, you have something to fall back on?

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